soulful splendor.

many people don't believe they have a soul. for instance, Edward Cullen. poor bloke. I beg to differ. ever since I was a little girl, I feel I have been very aware of my soul. I know what makes it full, what makes it hurt and I know when it is empty. I think of my soul as a "tank" that holds all the fuel that makes me who I am. there is a reason for who I am, there is a reason I am the only me, there is a reason I love certain things and dislike others. there is a reason I get some things and don't get or care to get others. there is no hiding when my soul is low or empty, and everyone around me suffers when it is.

this weekend, the question of what breaks someone's spirit arose in conversation. what makes a dog walk away with their tail between their legs? what makes an extraverted child seem timid and scared? what makes a confidant person afraid to speak their mind? it's when people aren't careful with their soul. they aren't careful with what makes them who they are. they don't handle them with gentleness, considering who the person is. there are all kinds of abuse, but I think the most common are the words we speak and our selfishness. thinking of ourselves before others and speaking without thinking are the most common ways we abuse each other. I see it every day. thinking we are better than anyone else is the worst abuse we can cause on our own soul, it damages us and puts our sight into extreme tunnel vision. until we see ourselves as beautiful, and except ourselves for who we are, we will never do anyone else any good. it's plain, it's simple.

my husband knows my soul better than I do. I often get myself into a funk and won't get myself out. he always notices and makes suggestions. oh to be known is a beautiful thing. what fills my soul? a good book, amazing music, nature, my family, art, people watching, the sound and sight of water- to name a few. what fills your soul? or if you don't believe you're an owner of a soul, what makes you feel alive? what makes you feel content? what gets you through the days?

the other day chris suggested I go for a walk around the pond behind our house. I didn't want to. I was tired. but I knew it was what I needed all the same. I took some pictures. I threw some rocks into the water so I could hear the water splash. I took my sandals off and felt the brisk air between my toes. I sang out loud to myself. I thought of people I loved. I listened to the birds and geese talk to each other. I felt peace in my soul. like a breath of fresh air right there in my center. sigh, I needed it so bad.

take time to take care of yourself, even when you are tired, especially when you're tired and disheartened. if we don't start there, loving others gets too difficult and what are we here for if it isn't to love others well?

the world is a richer place because of who you are.