lover love me.

"I'm not in love with the Robbie now, I'm in love with the Robbie six years ago. The lead singer of final warning, spandex pants, silk shirt unbuttoned, singing into the microphone like david lee roth. - the wedding singer.

last night during our ritual pillow talk dialogs, I began thinking about how much chris and I have changed in the last 6 years. I find it safe to say we are both completely different people then the person the each of us married. Chris has become a father, a more developed artist, a better friend, he has had events change and alter his thinking, how he responds, how he acts and speaks. it has all been for the better, and considering all the differences, I love him more today then I did when I first fell for him. How is it possible to love someone who will be forever changing and shifting, growing and learning, attempting and achieving or failing, all while life is going on at an extremely fast rate all around you? what if he were to come home today and tell me, "babe, I realized today I can't live without country music. I'm totally into it. I want a cowboy hat."? Would I still love him? Of course, even though it would hurt. :)

having said all this, I began contemplating "unconditional love".

un·con·di·tion·al   
[uhn-kuhn-dish-uh-nl]
–adjective
1.
not limited by conditions; absolute: an unconditional promise.
2.
Mathematics . absolute ( def. 12 ) .

to see unconditional love actually unfold before my eyes and pour out of me through the years, is possibly the most magical experience I've had. in the culture we grow up in, conditions seem to be attached to everything we do. watching someone grow and change so much, all while loving all of the transitions, is something I have enjoyed embracing. it is also exciting, meeting all of the new sides of chris and getting to know them.

there is also the other side, how he has continued loving me through all of my transitions, commonly known as female breakdowns, and the changes I have made intentionally and unintentionally. loving a woman who is not a mother, I know first hand, is completely different then loving a woman who is a mother. and so on.

basically, I'm in love. more so everyday, and realizing I'm in love with a new person from the person I originally fell in love with, yet in the same body, is quite fascinating. not that it isn't hard work, because it is, but it is such an amazing adventure to be on. if you choose to love someone, love them whole heartedly, without expectation, and a readiness to take all the curve balls life throws at you. remember to keep the romance alive, don't let questions go unanswered (especially the hard ones), and take the time to look into their eyes and embrace who they are that day.

you could be in love with a hot lead singer of a band, but what if he or she becomes a wedding singer?